Maybe I’m oversimplifying this
but if you were as you are right
now except tomorrow morning
you were a spider,
you’d just be a spider, right?
You wouldn’t, like,
write HELP
on your web.
I mean, what could anybody
really do? Your girlfriend
comes over and it’s hard
to kiss a spider, hard to
wrap your arms
around a spider.
She asks how you are
and you spend the next
hour and a half writing
BEEN BETTER in butt
silk on your web?
I hate to say this but
you might have to find
a spider girlfriend. And I
really hate to say this
but there’s a high
likelihood she will eat you.
Being a spider isn’t all bad.
Lots of chilling. Not totally
unlike what you’re doing now.
Except you’ll eventually
have to inject your prey until
its organs dissolve
and you slurp it up like
a bug slushy.
Who knows, maybe you’ll
like it. Well, you’ll need to like it.
Your long lost relative could be
that spider in the corner,
sucking down some
moth broth as you both
watch Wheel of Fortune
together.
You, But a Spider
Ian Valor