I turn on the tube and there’s nothing on.
Two trees are spontaneously combusting in protest.
A superstitious statistician is calling
only the even lotto numbers.
A yellow beach ball disintegrates in real time.
A reputable man is asking if it’s selfish
to eat fruit if the eater doesn’t plan
to swallow the seeds whole
and defecate in a fertile area
to make another fruit plant.
I skip the next channel
because it was filmed before I was born
and sometimes I get the creeps
watching things happen
from when I wasn’t around.
A rollercoaster goes up to the top
where a man is selling life insurance.
A faraway planet farts
and an astronomer laughs.
A flag was flown at half-mast,
but then something else happened
so it went halfway down again.
At this rate,
how long until it reaches the ground?
Static is like pi.
If pi contains every combination of numbers,
static contains every conversation you’ve ever heard.
I look outside.
It’s a nice day
for somebody to cash in a rain check.
Nothing On
Ian Valor