I used to sneak out of

my girlfriend’s apartment in the morning to

a coffee shop that isn’t there anymore.

I’d go out of my way to

pass a wheat pasted, hand-drawn sticker on

a cement wall:

some miraculous Jesus in black

sunglasses with the words

THE DUDE ABIDES

Now, I had no idea who The Dude was.

Never seen the movie,

never seen a poster.

But, I worshiped this sacred little act

of vandalism, an evil secret that escaped.

The dude? Abides?

Fuck, I don’t think I’d ever

even heard the word.

It was so strange and exclamatory,

breaking the rules

but too charming to stay mad at.

What the hell did it mean?

My mind could never keep up with the wonderful

world of fill in the blanks.

It’s like misheard lyrics

are always better than the actual ones.

But every statue becomes an eyesore and

after discovering my personal holy shrine was

just somebody else’s public devotion to

their favorite movie, I stopped taking

the long way for morning coffee.

Still, something stuck with me. Surely, knowing

how the trick is done doesn’t ruin all the magic.

Or maybe it does.

Maybe a question is sometimes

better than an answer.

All those internal universes

of strangers, churning away softly

against the insufferable

pangs of the universe.

Every Statue Becomes an Eyesore

Ian Valor

Poetry
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© 2026 Ian Valor