Being around honest people, the
good thing is that they don’t
lie to you.
The bad thing is that they don’t
lie to you.
The two of us are in the
inescapable quiet of
the drive when I ask him, “What’s on
your mind?”
“Who, me?” he says (his favorite bit).
“Um,” he says, “I was just thinking
of this fear I get,
trying to be present, but unable to
shake this feeling of being unworthy of the moment,
like words spelled out in a language that
I can’t understand, that life is being lived
more fully elsewhere.
It’s like dishes piling in
the sink, and I think of all the other things
piling up that I don’t see, this boiling
over since my therapist said I should end the marriage
to focus on my personal authenticity.
But my Mom says to work it out,
to sacrifice for the kids.
Of course, our priest says we need to
commit to reconciliation to maintain
the sanctity of our vows.
The doctor advised me to prioritize
whichever environment
lowers chronic stress.
My attorney is still all
about asset preservation,
and Gary from work says
I should just get something on the side,
keep it all good on paper.
But, it didn’t work for my
parents and here I am expecting it to work for me.”
He shifts in his seat, looks over, and asks,
“Anyway, what are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” I said.
An Honest Day's Drive
Ian Valor